The Sushing neck muscles are this morning all of an ache, no doubt from the depressed head-wagging which characterized my mien yesterday as I listened despondently to the small-minded and ill-informed protests over the appointment of Lizzie Butler-Sloss to oversee the new enquiry into child-abuse. The objection that she is related to a former Lord Chancellor I reject as fatuous. After-all, in our nepotistic legal system it would be almost impossible to find a credible chair for a public enquiry who wasn't in some way related to at least one former Lord Chancellor. However, what really saddened me was the failure by the media to recognise the subtle wisdom of the choice of the Baroness for this role.
I can reveal today that the appointment of Baroness Butler-Sloss was the result of my recommendations to the Cabinet Office, which in turn were the result of many years of research by the EDSRF into the effectiveness of public enquiries. That research has confirmed that enquires into historical events depend greatly for their success upon the ability of witnesses to recall with accuracy those events relevant to the subject of the enquiry. It is of supreme importance, therefore, that the chair of an enquiry should be equipped with every possible advantage for evoking vivid memories from those whom they interview. In the present case I determined that the good Baroness would be uniquely suited to the role owing to her passing resemblance to Jimmy Savile, which can be relied upon to provide a hefty sub-conscious nudge to the memories of those called to give evidence.